Saturday, April 08, 2006

Back home and Thanks for Sharing, Wil Wheaton.

It is good to get back home. The first thing that I said to my wife when I saw her was “Hable en inglés, por favor.” Maybe you had to be there.

I went to see my Grandmother today. We had a nice lunch and chatted. She is adjusting very well to her new home. She has made several friends. She was even out in the lobby of the place talking up a new friend. This doesn’t sound like much, but if you knew my Grandmother then you would know how big a deal that is.

On the way home I got to thinking about a post on Wil Wheaton’s blog that I read last night. (if you want to read if for yourself, it is here http://wilwheaton.typepad.com/ “i find it hard to tell you, because i find it hard to take”). The topic of the post is a wasted opportunity from when Wil was a teenager. I know when I read it I felt the pangs of guilt from the opportunities that I blew or the mistakes that I compounded due to the arrogance and stupidity of youth. I’m sure that those who read that piece and don’t feel the same are few and far between. I would want to tell Wil (whom I do not know) “Dude, join the club”, but he probably knows.

For myself, I could tell about the time I backed my Dad’s van into my Mom’s car. I could tell about filling my Dad’s lawn mower with paint when it should have been gasoline. I could even tell about the time I took most of a bottle of aspirin because I had a headache and then hid in the woods so as not to get into trouble (that was almost the last time I got in trouble). I could go on for days, unfortunately. Most of you have your own lists, I’m sure.

Eventually, my thoughts turned to something I did very right and now I feel the need to share. This is not an original idea, but I saw the beauty of it right away. What I did was to write my Mother a letter. It was a simple letter that said how much I appreciate the sacrifices and pain that she and my late father endured to raise me and my brothers. If you know my family, you also know that it was mostly me that made raising a family a challenge.

I started the letter by writing that I had waited until a time when no celebrations or milestones or illnesses or anything of that matter was approaching. I wanted the note to stand for what is was, a love letter, and not be overshadowed by any other event. I made sure to point out how well we had turned out and that it was my Mother and Father who lead us to where we are now. I told her how I loved her for who she was and what she had done. I told her how proud she should be of the job she had done. I should have said it all many times and many years eariler.

Mom never said any more than that she got the letter. She didn’t have to.

The person that gave me the idea told me that one day when my Mother has passed that I would find that letter among her most prized positions. I think and hope that that day is a long way off, but I believe that the letter is there.

Now isn’t time for you to write a letter?

26 comments:

TripJax said...

good call SK.

I did the same for my Dad a few years back, but it's high time I got the ball rollin' for Moms. She is the glue that kept the family together...she deserves it...

Villa said...

Hi from Portugal!
Your blog is awesome!
Keep Posting
Nice to meet u
Villa
PS: Please drop me a line at my blog (follow my link at my profile!)
Thanks

CarmenSinCity said...

You blog was great. I swear I was getting a little teary. I made my parent's life quite a challenge when I was growing up and even still now we have issues. I've been trying to repair the relationship but your blog gives me incentive to not give up.

Thanks!

ej said...
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PI said...

I'm a Mum and a Gran and the one thing I'm proud of is that my parents were never in any doubt that I loved them. And much as I railed against them in my teen-age years I never doubted their love.

PI said...
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PI said...
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PI said...
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Anonymous said...

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Jon Maloney said...

I hit your blog using the Next Blog feature on the navigator and actually stopped to read it!

I enjoyed my visit. Thanks.

Jon
Orts

Anonymous said...

Hi K,

That really made me think about my own parents, and how I've never really told them how much I've appriciated them. Thanks.

Oh and don't forget this Sunday is Easter, so don't forget to be in Church!

God Bless!

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Oberon said...

......one time.....i backed my girlfriends car up and left the door open......it caught the fence and bent it all the way backwards.....holy shit.

seabird said...

hi there,
here's a true story of my teen
years-
i was around 14 or 15 (country kid, grew up in the catskill mountains, ny)
lots of very steep hills and dales.
i was driving (illegally) my friends car (very, very fast muscle car) when i say my friend, i mean the older boy who liked me and wanted me for a girlfriend. i liked him well enough, but not as a boyfriend (i liked someone eles).
what i did like about "gary" was his car and the fact that i wanted to learn to drive. long story short-to impress me he let me drive his car. i took my brother 13yrs, put him in the back seat, told "gary" to get in the passenger seat and i got in the driver seat. did not know how to drive!!!
went up a hill and down and back up and lost control of the brake, gas combo (lost my mind really) and stepped on the gas instead of the brake, flew up the hill landed on a school chums front lawn about to fly into their living room-heard my brother in the back seat screaming-BRAKE, BRAKE, BRAKE!!!!!!
PANIC SET IN-I TURNED THE WHEEL HAS HARD AS I COULD AT THE LAST MINUTE BEFORE SLAMMING INTO THEIR LIVINGROOM, STILL PRESSING THE GAS, AND DOWN THE HILL WE WENT-BOTH BOYS SCREAMING AND FLEW ACROSS A MAIN HIGHWAY RIGHT INTO A BRICK WALL. BANG!!!
THANK GOD IT WAS A BIG MUSCLE CAR FROM THE 60's, STRONG AND HEAVY TO TAKE THE IMPACT.
I LOST A TOOTH AND MY PRIDE. "GARY" lost his transportaion to work the next 3 months and my brother wouldn't speak to me for a month!

someone called the cops and a tow truck. "gary" said he was driving to the police and he lost control trying to steer out of the way of a animal that ran across the road. HA! we were all very lucky and i was just another stupid kid. i never did tell my parents what happened and my brother kept his mouth closed also.

we all have our tales to tell.
love your blog, keep up the great work.
good luck in life. that was a very caring and sweet thing you did for your mom. you know, that speaks a great deal about how your mom and pop brought you and your siblings up. nice family!

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Leesa said...

The best thing I ever did in my life was to write a letter to a specific loved one.

After she died, I talked with her son who said, "Wow, Leesa, we had to throw out three shoeboxes full of your letters. I didn't even know you wrote her."

Londradical said...

ciao

Candy Minx said...

Hey Special K, really enjoyed reading your blog. Very thoughtful and often funny. It sounds like you know how important it is to think about life and people and that is inspiring.

Cheers,
Candy
http://gnosticminx.blogspot.com/

Mary Jane said...

yeah!yeah!

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Sheila, Canary Islands said...

Now isn’t time for you to write a letter?

Too late. Both my parents are dead.
Which makes me very glad I said much the same stuff when they were alive.

So to anyone that hasn't written it or said it yet, DO IT TODAY. You never know. You really don't.

Sheila

TJ said...

Bang on correct! My mum passed away two years ago and when we had to empty out her flat I found all the (hilarious) letters I had sent over the last 10 years or so. Now that she is gone I often think that although I sent her lots of notes there are still things I wanted her to know.

em0 said...

I hit your blog using the Next Blog feature on the navigator and actually stopped to read it!

I enjoyed my visit. Thanks.

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