Since the news from Egypt has cooled a bit, I guess the press has moved on to other stories. Here are a few recent headlines that I found humorous:
"Why You Should Avoid Getting Pregnant on the Way to Mars"--headline, Guardian (London), Feb. 14
"'Mars' Mission Reaches Climax in a Giant Sand Pit"--headline, Daily Telegraph (London), Feb. 15
That takes care of item 1.
"Light-Emitting Rubber Could Sense Structural Damage"--headline, TechnologyReview.com, Feb. 15
… and that takes care of all other missions.