Wednesday, February 13, 2008

Happy Valentine's Day - not

(disclaimer: I don't have any children) 

A buddy of mine at work is going through a rough time.  A week ago, his wife left him.  He had no idea it was coming.  Worse yet, she took their 6 year-old twins with her to a friends house.  She called him at work that day to make sure he was not on his way home and made an excuse for why she would be out with the kids.  The friend's that she took the kids (who are asmatic) to stay with have cats and a dog to which the kids are allergic.  He found out what had gone down about 9 o'clock that night when he reached his wife on the phone and she told him that she was gone and the kids are safe and "that's all you need to know."


Now I know I'm only getting one side of the story and there is a lot more to go with what I have above, but skip ahead to today.  My buddy has moved out of his house so his wife and kids can move back in.  I would imagine that it will be her's (and the kid's) to keep.  She has avoided getting a job for the past two years, so he'll get to pay her for leaving him and it is already pretty clear that they (the wife and layer) are going to do everything they can to make him out to be a pervert or monster.

To hear his side, he was staying in this marriage to keep the family together for the kids.  I'm sure it wasn't perfect, but I'll bet it was better that what they have right now.  And if you are wondering if she was abused, she is a black belt martial arts instructor and he weighs about 160.  I don't think that is an issue.

The real problem, to hear him tell it, is that he is trying to play by the rules, be a nice guy and try to settle things as quickly as possible for the kids sake.  He doesn't realize that she has probably been talking to her lawyer and setting him up for months.

If there were any justice, the kids would be at home with him and she would be visiting them from wherever she found to live.  But it doesn't work that was for guys.  She will probably get the house, the kids (which she will use as a lever with which to beat him), cash and every opportunity to date and move on.  If he is a good guy, he will get indentured servitude for the next 12 years.

This is going to be sad to watch as the system roll over him like a Mac Truck.  I could understand (but not condone) why some guys do real stupid things in situations like this.  I would probably be one of them.

Happy Valentine's Day. :(

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