Yea, I lost a few points, but that doesn't bother me. Normally the entertainment value would be worth several times what I invested. No, it was something else and it ate on me all night. I wish it hadn't and I wish I could just let it go. That's what a grown up would do.
I know that nobody there meant anything personal, but the timing really left me with something I want to say, and the folks gathered were pretty aggressive about not wanting to hear it. The topic was politics and one of the guests had just made what, to me, was a purely partisan political comment that contradicted an earlier statement he had made. In affect, he told me I was wrong and that it (all the problems in the world?) was always the republican's fault as the rest of the group cut off the conversation. They've never cut off any conversation before, but they sure cut me off.
Well the reaction in my gut was and big "Fuck That!!" It must be something from my childhood, but that hit a button that hasn't been hit in a long time. I didn't rant or rave, but I kinda wish I had. Had I done that, Falstaff could have thrown me out (it's his house after all) giving me some finality to the discussion. Had there been more folks there I would probably have hit the road, at least to cool down for a while. In my younger days, I would have called it a night. Instead, I just sat there like a jerk and didn't say a thing.
It's a sign of growth that I didn't react as I would have, but after 47 years I should be a lot further along than I showed tonight. There is a lot of growth still in front of me. We have a good fun group that I really love being around and I'm sorry to anyone who was paying enough attention to have been made uncomfortable. I know I sure was tonight.